Unspent Time Launch Party
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Warning: reading this novel may make you more attractive and elevate your random luck by about 9.332%*
(* These statements have not been evaluated by any person of consequence!)
Read how to enter below. Excerpt
“This is not what it looks like,” he said, glancing about nervously. “And even if it was,” he added, “which it isn’t, then it still wouldn’t be. Understand?”
I shook my head.
“You think I don’t know what I’m talking about?” He tried to move a lock of hair from his face, which was odd, as he was one of the baldest people I’d seen in a long time.
“What business would it be of yours, anyway?” He shot me a defiant look. “I mean, it’s just a pen. Am I not allowed to hold a pen? If I hold a pen, then cannot I write?”
Perspiration appeared above his brow, he dabbed at it with his sleeve. “Is it perhaps the first time you’ve seen someone holding a pen? Not that I’m holding one, of course, although I can see how it may look like I am. But, see, if I was holding a pen, then what would it be to you? It’s not even your pen. If it was a pen, which it isn’t.”
His expression grew more frantic by the minute. His eyes darted about wildly as if scanning for danger. “You may not know this,” he explained, “being a year younger than I am, but, in this universe we live in, there are, well, I’ll just come right out and say it, there are things that look like pens but which, when you get right down to it, are not. Like this thing right here.” He indicated the pen he held in his right hand. “Which is not your pen and wouldn’t be yours even if it was a pen, which it isn’t.”
I let out a slow breath of air. “Are you feeling alright, Gregory?” I tried to move closer without scaring my brother back into his room, which he’d turned into a fortress of blankets and upturned furniture. “You seem a bit on edge.” I moved closer still, and touched his forehead with the back of my hand. At first he was weary, but he allowed it to happen. Something deep inside him still trusted me. But Gregory was in bad shape, worse than I had ever seen before. And he was burning up. “Did you eat? Did you sleep?”
Gregory nodded, his eyes still scanning the room as if he expected something very bad to happen any moment.
“Did you take your medication? Remember how we discussed with the doctor that you should take your medication every day?”
Gregory waved it away. “I’m fine,” he said, still perspiring profusely. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I have a lot on my mind. For some reason, I can’t shake his horrible feeling that dark forces are after my pen.” He smiled apologetically.
“Aha!” I said, slaying him with my broad sword. “I knew it was a pen!”
… continued in Unspent Time
How to enter:
For the launch of the new novel I decided to discount it to $0.99 for today (PC and eBook), give away some exclusive content, and raffle off two Kindles. All entrants will get:
- An exclusive spin-off novelette (not available for purchase anywhere!)
- Making of Gomez: behind the scenes eBook
- Signature for their paperback or kindle edition
- Chance to win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch
(Prizes can be traded for Amazon gift certificates if you already own them.)
Just email your receipt to email@example.com to enter.
Each purchase counts, so stock up on birthday presents (for people you don’t like that much, for instance) The discount ends today, but be sure to send the receipts no later than June 1st.
And then get by tweeting about your purchase:Tweet
Sound bites from Unspent Time:
“I’m looking into my past lives. I’m convinced some of them still owe me money.”
“I’m very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”
“I didn’t actually want to do it,” Kiala told the boy. “The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”
“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”
Here’s what reviewers had to say:
“A veritable page turner of nonstop laughs!” — Reader Views
“An unputdownable read. a Coens Brothers’ film in book form.” — BookReview.com
“Extremely witty and clever writing.” — California Chronicle
“A Party for your Brain!” — Warren Baxter