Dear Courageous Reader,
I’m shocked to report that powerful knuckleheads have divided Island Nation, stoked extreme school rivalries between the Puddin’ Heads and Sweeties, and created ludicrous school rules. Students are required to wear MegaCorp Frames and only read MegaCorp books (all other books have been banned). In class, students attempt to survive bootstraps, spoon helmet, dodge rod, duck yoga, and dynamite combat training. And get this: Students with large hands are not allowed to lead, play guitar, or play offense in soccer.
However, despite these obstacles and twenty-three school expulsions, fourteen-year-old Blaze Union has risen as the improbable hope for becoming the boss of the nation’s schools, and challenging the supreme prime minister himself. Brave truth seeker, please read this story as quickly as your heart and mind can handle, and before it is too late.
Spoons up! Heigi hooga!
W.T. Kosmos
Paradox, USA, Earth, Milky Way
P. S.
Warning: This story may cause sudden laughing, crying, shouting, jumping up and down, or head butting.
